You play one of The Computer's elite agents. Your job is to search out and destroy the enemies of The Computer. Your worst fear is that The Computer will discover that you are one of these enemies. Today, your friend The Computer has asked you to report to the WHO sector briefing room. This may have something to do with the announcement that all the cleaning robots in WHO sector have begun attacking medical personnel. You had better hurry to the briefing, you don't want to be tardy!
Loyal Citizens, you are called to action by your friend the Computer. A mission of the utmost importance, critical to the very safety of [ERROR: INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE] itself!. You are instructed to report to meeting room [ERROR: LOCATION DELETED] for your orders.
The Computer reminds all loyal citizens to be alert for Commie or Mutant Treason, especially [SUBVERSIVE MATERIAL INTERCEPTED AND DELETED] which has been detected even among your fellow Troubleshooters.
Stay alert. Trust no-one. Keep your laser handy.
Welcome to the Project Olive Branch Troubleshooting Task Force. You may be aware that Quality Assurance have recently detected several critical defects in the first batch of Vindicators, due to be delivered to Alpha Complex Armed Forces in only a few days. Executive has determined that while these defects are most likely the fault of commie traitors and rival firms, a full review of the project is needed to examine these challenges and determine a preferred strategy for overcoming them.
Please report to conference room B14 for briefing.
Paranoia meets Dilbert meets Lockheed Martin.